I’m waiting for a realtor who is coming to assess my house. I’ve cleaned as much as I can and it barely made a difference. I’ve warned her about the state of disrepair. She reassured me that she’s not there to judge. And yet… you know that’s exactly how I feel. Like it’s super clear that I couldn’t hack the last year of my life with the intelligence and mental juggling necessary to work full time, keep my kids on even keel and maintain a house I can’t even begin to afford on one salary. Yeah, intellectually I know that I did the best I could and damn sure could have done worse, and yet…

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